I’ve been thinking a lot about anniversaries lately. And I guess it’s not just me because I’ve seen a lot of “wow look at where I was a year ago and look where I am now” posts online. Maybe everyone is thinking about it.

When I think about May – a year ago – I get this feeling of "Wow I survived that?” Last May marked a lot of new things for me. New job, new people, new surroundings. Uncertainty was a huge part of my life – following me like a friend, pushing back when I tried to fight it. The stress and fear stayed, and yet, I think it grew me an extra layer of skin. Maybe even a bullet-proof vest.

I was pushed into places I’d never been. Like learning how to drive in the snow (oh, and getting stuck in it. In the dark. That’s fun.). Making mistakes (Big ones. In public. That’s fun too.) Feeling mentally worn to the point I just wanted to quit doing anything extra except what was necessary to survive. I even lived out of a box, a backpack, with 2 pairs of shoes (That’s super fun.).

It’s funny, that with all the stressful things, I also remember so many good things from May last year. Hiking trips, sunlight reading sessions, swimming, home-grown strawberries, dancing. I remember feeling so blessed I had moments that made all other moments easier to bear. Does that happen to you too? That even in the midst of your worst day, you still find good things in it?

I’m reading a book on self-development right now. Man, its kicking my butt something fierce. So many things I thought I’d matured in just. . .uh yeah, I’m not actually all that mature. Maybe I conquered one or two things since last May, but THERE IS STILL SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE IN THIS HUMAN.

May has been a really weird month, to say the least. I am grateful for the growth that’s happened, but I also cannot let myself be satisfied with just that. As long as I am breathing there will always be road ahead of me. More mountains to climb. More scars. More mess. More growth.

I’m not entirely looking forward to “growth times” #lol but I mean, I know what it’s like to be on the other side when victory is sweet. And I hang onto that.

x o x o x o.
k.