*writing this 24 hours before I have to will help me get it done on time, right? right*

It's another semi-winter day in which the sun sets far too early and I am waiting for 5:30 when I can go home and curl up in front of a show with knitting. I've been left to man the shop this week because whoever isn't out of town on holiday business is either sick or caught up in childcare responsibilities. It feels a little like last year: me at this desk, except less stressed. Now, I have a great boss, lovely co-workers. I've told myself I will find other work one day, but it's hard to leave great places, ya know?

• a good workplace. . .there's a start to this week's list.

• yesterday's snow is melting on the sidewalks. I'm ready for snow, now, but only if it's dry. still. . .it's something.

• the masterpiece that is JRB's Parade. It has gotten me through this week.

• this this this. (we spend a lot of time hyping each other's work; it's great.)

• Where the Crawdads Sing is finally out where I can watch it. Pls don't tell me if you hated or loved it yet. . .I'm already scared.

• P, from the candy shop, dropped off chocolate covered apple goodness to shops downtown I'd forgotten how goooddd they are. Def. the highlight of my day.

hey will you look at that?
I finished on time!
happy thanksgiving, friends :)
k.

Hey friends,

Is it becoming #ThankfulnessFriday for me??? This is the second week in a row I haven’t been able to get my act together the day of. And last week I caved and posted on the ol' gram instead of formatting a post here. Anyways...it’s 7:52AM, coffee is steaming in my mug, I’m listening to songs from Five Feet Apart (don’t ask why, I’m not usually like this).

I have to be somewhere in an hour so here’s a list of moments I pinched myself this week.

---

• A friend, who’d only seen the movie, and I were talking about Woods, and I told her the Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince are the same. It blew her mind.

• It’s been so sunny this week. I don’t need to tell you what a blessing it is.

• Planning trips/concerts is a good feeling

• It might be sunny, but it’s also been frigid. This is good news because I’ve told myself this year I will improve my skating.

---

Hope your weekend is lovely,
k.

As I write that title, it’s Friday, November 4th, 08:30…sources tell me this was supposed to be published yesterday, and I know that. I believe this is my first ever “Thursday post on a Friday” - it will probably happen again.

We’ve been getting snow warnings for two weeks. Every day the mountains outside my window are a little less their usual colors, blanketed by white. This morning snow finally hit us. High of 37.

Next week isn’t getting above 30.

I’d fully intended to pop in here before November, but you are a probably sick of hearing my good intentions regarding this space. I never thought I’d become that person who gets too busy with life to keep up with writing. Truth is, sometimes the last thing I want to do after a day is reprocess what I’m feeling, or explain the days events in metaphor.

Life is a little slower now, thank goodness. My summer jobs and projects have ended. I’m mostly moved in (oh, did I mention I am living on my own now? I am quite behind with life updates). I’ve got this routine of work/dishes/see family/laundry/groceries - truly it’s not logistically different but it feels a lot different when you’re not in the family unit.

Places are first on my gratitude list this year. I was never a travel person - my childhood was spent in the same town, trips were holiday car rides to Grandma’s. Now that time is my own, I get to make those early dreams a reality.

Traveling doesn’t always need to be Europe. Sometimes it can mean a place three hours away you take a day to see because why on earth not? Sometimes traveling could be exploring the landscape around you, and finding new places to visit again and again.

I live in a world of what I think I need to be doing based on what I think people expect of me. Imaginary ties and upcoming obligations take up space, leaving none for adventure. Days off become days where I prepare to go to work again, and that’s not a way to constantly live.

I’ve been telling myself, “Do the thing. It’s okay.

Thankfulness Thursday,

the other years

wanna join us? Deets here!

stay strong.
k.

If there's one thing adult life has taught me it is this: seasons are never one way or the other. A month, a day, a hour is not just "good" or "bad". And it's okay (even, healthy) to recognize this duality. It's especially important to not count the "good" or "bad" things, pit them against each other and decide which side wins.

July was not the best or the easiest month. I know "best" and "easiest" are extremely vague, but that's what I choose to avoid going into the specifics. As my mind tends to focus on whatever is "bad" in my life, this is a conscious effort to document the good things that happened so they can have their proper place. 

so, here, in no particular order or context are some things that brightened and sweetened my July. 

= I couple weeks ago, I was home alone. I was too exhausted to do much of anything, and I needed something that would distract me from said exhaustion. I'd just finished cleaning up the kitchen and as I scrolled through Instagram, I saw that Rob Bell had announced in his story that "An Introduction to Joy" was available on youtube. As ya'll know, my admiration for his work runs deep, and since I had an entire afternoon ahead of me, I decided to watch it then and there. It was THE BEST decision. a Godsend. straight from heaven above. made my week. I'm talking in sentence fragments because I cannot properly express how much it spoke to my soul. I CANNOT RECOMMEND IT ENOUGH. = I cannot describe to you how delicious it feels to jump into water at the end of a long day. It doesn't just wash away sweat and heat, it's soul cleansing too. July was the month I brought a towel and spare clothes every day. = so many birthdays...If anything July has made me realize I need to be make a greater effort to celebrate people. = took my book and camping chair down to the creek and read for a good hour. bliss bliss bliss. = thrift stores are slowly opening around and I've made a few quick trips for some much needed summer clothes and house furnishings. It feels very pre-quarantine, and anything that feels like old times is special.
= "Elixer" and "August" from Taylor Swift's new album (bc I am more a piano rythmn/harmony fan than a t. swift fan) = Shane & Shane: family friends introduced us to their music and honestly, I cannot believe I hadn't listened to it before. Their cover of "Breathe" is my second-favorite version of the song. "Psalm 46" is my all-time fav. If you watch my insta stories you know that there was a day effort to write a chord sheet that turned into a cry for help because I wrote it in the wrong key. But Dad (he is my musical rock) stepped in and fixed my blunders, so I have a shiny chord sheet that we wrote together. "Psalm 90" tugged on my heartstrings too. It's not on Spotify, so here's the youtube link. = "Nancy Mulligan" + "What Do I Know?" + "Save Myself" // Ed Sheeran.

. . .

I hope each of you are well and
that August brings wonderful things your way.
xxx
k.

Thanksgiving was a quiet one. We all felt like it was a Rest Day, so none of us did anything until noon. I labored over a gift I was making for a friend for a solid couple hours. Mom and I went on a run (it was 32 degrees, so don't bother asking why we did it. I thought we were crazy)

I was browsing through Instagram today, seeing everyone's table spreads of pies and yams and turkeys. And in spite of myself I compared my own family's slapdash dinner plans with everyone else's perfect ones. Everyone else's houses looked so festive. Mine was just. . .like it always looks. Everyone else made pies! and more pies! stuffing! potatoes! We had salad, roast chicken and rice. Everyone had on their Sunday best. I didn't feel like getting out of my sweatpants.


And then, feeling like such a hypocrite because HELLO I'M OVER HERE ON THE INTERNET WRITING THANKFULNESS POSTS EVERY WEEK, I decided to write about it to let ya'll know that Keira does in fact forget the reason why she's here and breathing: to make a difference and give thanks

It would be, again, hypocritical for me to write: Thanksgiving isn't about the fancy decor or the freakin food, or anything else. It's about gratitude. About realizing that oh my goodness the blessings I receive everyday are too much it humbles me to bow and say, "thanks Father; You're amazing."

But okay, I just did write that. And it's a true and necessary reminder I need.

On a sticky note for next year will be the following instructions:
= don't go on Instagram.
= enjoy your family.
= enjoy your surroundings.
= give thanks.

However simple, the Anderson family
Thanksgiving was just what it needed to be.
g'night, friends.
k.

Today I literally kept thinking it was Friday and then getting disappointed because it wasn't. This has been one of those, "okay wow I'm really tired." weeks. And it's not like I'm doing any more than I usually do, just my mind/body are a little worn at the edges. That said, I badly need to get to bed, so I'm keeping it simple with just a list.

off to bed, so g'night!
k.

^^^ #HillsandValleysTour was epic

Coming at you once more from my living room. The fire is blazing comfortably. The snow outside will probably melt by the end of the week. I was so tired when I got home that I was telling myself "Buck up, K. don't you dare think about calling it a night. you still have stuff to do before you even think about hitting the hay."

Dinner was ready when I walked in the door (THANK GOODNESS) and after I ate, I turned on music while I put away groceries and tidied my room. I washed a load of clothes and hung them to dry. It was Big Brother's turn to do the dishes, and pretty soon we were all singing and dancing around the kitchen. It's amazing what a difference food and good music makes. I feel so much better. Like a new person. Motivation, energy restored.

And that's an example of what I'm grateful this week: hype.

I'm talking about the renewed feeling that happens, after you think all your energy has been drained. The little boost your heart needs to keep going. Maybe it's a text from a friend. Maybe it's an email, whatever. Maybe it's a song you hear and the nostalgia is so thick you can't help but laugh the tension away. Or maybe it's just the straight up hype you get from going to a concert with a bunch of friends.

Whatever, however it comes, you know the feeling. It's like oxygen, isn't it?

It's been an exhausting week. No more exhausting than my life usually is, I guess, but I'm at so many crossroads right now and it mentally taxes me. And if there's one thing that Keira is not good at, it is: taking the first step into the unknown. If I want to do anything with my life, I need to take steps, or JUST DO THE THING ALREADY. (I've already talked about how much Keira dearly loves comfort and safety and everything about staying.)

A friend of mine is really into Need to Breathe, and she's gotten me to listen too. I went to the last night of the #HillsandValleysTour (see photo). One night after work my coworker played a Newsboys song that brought back SO MANY home-school, veggie-tale memories. Each of these things have brought me back, bit by bit, from the edge of freaking out about the end of 2019 and how much I haven't done this year

Sometimes it's good for your brain to forget all the ways you didn't measure up. All the ways you weren't productive. You don't always want to forget where you are and where you're going but when you're exhausted, it's a good thing.

So if you feel a little under the buss tonight, maybe the solution for you is to: eat something, turn on a rockin playlist, and dance until your shoulders lose the tension.

stay strong.
k.

I woke up yesterday with, as always, a list of things I had to do before work. And one of the things on my list was write that post for Thankfulness Thursday. My dear friend and fellow word-lover Grace Ann does these posts every Thursday in November, and last year I joined her for the first time. It was so fun and therapeutic I wanted to do it again! And just today, she announced that she's taking the series to Instagram. I'm still going to write about it here though, but a little differently than last year.

I think ya'll can relate but I love to have my blog posts polished. Written. Mulled-over a hundred times. Edited. Formatted to perfection. <<< that's my process in a nutshell, and while it's a good process, I know there is also a place for showing up as messy and clumsy as I feel. So what my plan is. . .AHEM (my non-plan) not to write this year's posts with my usual process. No fancy formatting or overthinking. No writing weeks in advance. Just me, showing up no sooner than Wednesday night, and writing what comes.

Okay I said it. No plan.
Deep breath, K.

This is not going to be a post where I write: "how the heck am I supposed to keep everything together? I'm so overwhelmed. Do I spend too much time working and not enough time having fun? I don't, right? Most days I feel like I'm failing miserably at keeping everything together.

Although I certainly do feel overwhelmed (on a daily basis), it is nothing new to brag or vent about. Everyone experiences it. You know, after a while it becomes cliche to mention how onions sting your eyes when you chop them, right?? Besides, I don't know if the emotion ever goes away, or if we get stuck with a personalized "overwhelm buddy" the moment we turn adults.



This phrase has meant so much to me lately. Slow the heck down, Keira. Physically slow down. Appreciate your surroundings. Do not strive to get to the future faster than life, than time will allow you. You could call this staying present. Being where my feet are.

I thought I was pretty good at staying present. I put my phone away at the dinner table, all those things. I was even decent at staying away from social media + blogging for periods of time. But now I think that staying present goes deeper than just how much time you spend on electronic devices.

It's possible to be mentally distant. I might be chatting with someone, but inwardly I'm thinking about some to-do list I haven't written yet and have to write before I forget. I might be doing laundry but inwardly I am thinking about how much time I have not spent reading this week. The list continues.

I want to get better at worrying about the future less. I'll still plan for it (that's not a bad thing AT ALL). But I want to stop stressing about how things might not turn out, or how I might never do X or Z. There are enough things in the present to fill my brain/time.

Like: how crazy, freakin amazingly gorgeous this planet is.


I have done SO many cool things since January that it frustrates me that I haven't sat down and appreciated how unlikely it is that I would have done them a year ago.

- I went paddle-boarding for the first time. And second time.
- Went to a bridal shower in which my friend made the most excellent and aesthetic iced coffee
- Visited my favorite hiking spot. . .again (a.k.a the best waterfall)
- A current creative project that is oh so fun to play with
- Trying to read 10 books by August 1st

Life is really good rn, even with the mess and uncertainty and forgetfulness.

I’ve been thinking a lot about anniversaries lately. And I guess it’s not just me because I’ve seen a lot of “wow look at where I was a year ago and look where I am now” posts online. Maybe everyone is thinking about it.

When I think about May – a year ago – I get this feeling of "Wow I survived that?” Last May marked a lot of new things for me. New job, new people, new surroundings. Uncertainty was a huge part of my life – following me like a friend, pushing back when I tried to fight it. The stress and fear stayed, and yet, I think it grew me an extra layer of skin. Maybe even a bullet-proof vest.

I was pushed into places I’d never been. Like learning how to drive in the snow (oh, and getting stuck in it. In the dark. That’s fun.). Making mistakes (Big ones. In public. That’s fun too.) Feeling mentally worn to the point I just wanted to quit doing anything extra except what was necessary to survive. I even lived out of a box, a backpack, with 2 pairs of shoes (That’s super fun.).

It’s funny, that with all the stressful things, I also remember so many good things from May last year. Hiking trips, sunlight reading sessions, swimming, home-grown strawberries, dancing. I remember feeling so blessed I had moments that made all other moments easier to bear. Does that happen to you too? That even in the midst of your worst day, you still find good things in it?

I’m reading a book on self-development right now. Man, its kicking my butt something fierce. So many things I thought I’d matured in just. . .uh yeah, I’m not actually all that mature. Maybe I conquered one or two things since last May, but THERE IS STILL SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE IN THIS HUMAN.

May has been a really weird month, to say the least. I am grateful for the growth that’s happened, but I also cannot let myself be satisfied with just that. As long as I am breathing there will always be road ahead of me. More mountains to climb. More scars. More mess. More growth.

I’m not entirely looking forward to “growth times” #lol but I mean, I know what it’s like to be on the other side when victory is sweet. And I hang onto that.

x o x o x o.
k.