My blood and my bones
My heart and my hands
They try to hold all of this in
-
But I'm running to You
Like a west Texas wind
Saying "God I need You
Oh how I need You.
God how I need You again."

I have been trying to write a post for weeks now, and I keep coming back to it and failing at what I want to say. And now that's it's Nov. and that means an annual Thankfulness Thursday recap every week (which I am starting next week because this one has been....crazed), I don't really have time to finish it. So here's my best substitute: photos from the hike we finally finished after twice getting lost trying to find it. And a song I cannot get out of my head.

happy thursday, friends.
k.

The leaves might be changing all around us, but my soul is still wishing is was summer. My family and I have remarked often how we are terribly sad to be eating dinner in the dark, now. Even when we go down to the beach for games on the weekends – I’ve made the mistake of setting it like we always do, instead of an hour earlier.

Life is bizarre. If anything, September has taught me that. My Brother turned 20. My Little Brother started driver’s training. My sister is reading her way through our favorite book series. I cannot take this grow-up rate.

All around me people are hurting. I see it more now than I ever have, and what’s changed – I’m not sure. I’m older? More involved? It seems like there’s a burlap sack of tragic rice that somebody sliced a hole in.

“I’m sorry I forgot the blankets.” <<< In this show I’m watching, one character apologizes at the grave of another. For forgetting a trivial item the last time they saw each other. It doesn’t get much more human than that.

And yet, other things go on as usual. In a couple days it will be Sukkot.* I really ought to start canning all the garden tomatoes. A group of us are trying to put together a backpacking trip before the snow comes. I bought a sleeping hammock for such purpose!!!

*today is Sukkot 6 if that tells you how long I’ve been drafting this.

Fall is heralded as “comfort season”. The moment or anticipation of a break and extra time. . .around the fire, shopping in cardigans and beanies. I don’t know what fall will be like this year but let’s hope it turns out peacefully.

And I told myself I must at least do *one* blog post in October, and here are some photos to finish this off because I can’t with words just now.

I'm sure it's common knowledge by now that I make a semi-annual trip south to immerse myself in the climate I spent all of my childhood years in (I see people too, obviously. The DEAREST people). I'd not describe myself as a "vacation" person, because I cannot leave work for long. I end up bringing it on the plane and working anyway.

At the time I am drafting this (Friday), it has been nearly a week since I got back. I am telling myself, tomorrow tomorrow, I will sit down to edit the photos and get this all posted by Monday. Emphasis on the "telling myself" part of it - if this week has said anything about time fluctuation I truly have no idea when this will reach you.

(Sunday edit: I definitely am mad at Apple for the lack of an "undo" button on the Notes app because I totally deleted a paragraph that was suppose do go here on accident and I have no memory of what I wrote) So let's pretend it said something to the effect that it's been two years since I'd seen my friends and making plans to travel fall 2020 was the most foolhardy idea I could have made (they said it would be over by September, didn't they????)

This trip was the most...different. In a way that forced me to reconfigure my expectations. We're all different than we were in 2019, aren't we? My friend(s) and I certainly don't relate in the same way we used to (despite what people might say, FaceTime is no substitute for spending time in the same house 24/7). Don't get me wrong: we respect each other immensely, but it was still...3 adults who've survived 2020 instead of 3 adults who didn't have a clue in 2019. This was the first trip we really experienced as such, and the dynamic couldn't have been more foreign.

That's not to say it was bad: it was so good. But gone are the days of teenage oblivion and waiting for mom to drive us around. We're getting old and finding our way. Honest - there's not many people I'd be cool to show my inner parts to.

No, this isn't mean to be a long expose on the merits of community. I plan to show pictures, I promise.

This trip my friends convinced me to visit Grand Canyon! Can you believe I have visited three different years and it never crossed my mind to visit there??

Now I seriously regret that lapse in judgement.

For you who have never been, Grand Canyon is located in north-ish AZ. It is by far the biggest attraction I have ever visited. HUGE is an understatement. There are numerous paths, biking, camp sites, backpacking trails, and shuttles. There are restaurants and roads - like a mini city. There are even mule teams! You could spend two weeks there and not see it all. I feel I didn't take enough photos, even though my shutter count came to nearly 100. I was trying to balance taking it all in with documenting it for later. It's harder than you might think.

We were only at South Rim for a day, logically our first stop was "Mather Point" (I keep wanting to call it "Mother Point". It is the most popular stop, so....not too bad, brain). We skipped Yaki point, for time sake but you could easily walk from one to the other. There was a great deal of picture taking and freaking out over the view.

There was some debate about which trail we wanted to do next. In the end, we settled on South Kaibub. A beast of a trail rumored to be the quickest way down to the river. It's only 6 miles one way, and STEEP. We only hiked for an hour or so but let me tell you: the view is beyond gorgeous. Stunning at every turn! We started it about 3:30 PM (serious hikers: I know, that time is suicide, kill me now). But we were prepared with plenty of water, and we took breaks in the shade. It was fine.

We were sunburnt, sore, and weary by the end. We wandered around the visitor's center, ate lunch, and left around 5. I sat in the back and took sunset photos as we drove. The moon was full and glowed white over the landscape. It was the most glorious day.

I hope you're enjoying fall for all it's worth.
It doesn't last long, friend.

cheers.
k.

stay strong.
k.