I said to myself when Thankfulness Thursday ended "wow that was fun. I should blog more." I know every blogger makes that claim, and to be honest, I feel very silly expressing it. Sitting down to write this also has me thinking, "has all this space become is monthly updates of my life and 2020? who wants to read that?"

Truth is, I don't know what I'll be writing about next. I have a few ideas, but I guess most of them are more vague than concrete. A funny contrast, to before I started blogging: k had an endless well of blogging ideas then. Gosh, lately it feels less and less like I am offering value where I want to be offering value (not only for this space, but in the rest my life too).

It's December and there are roughly 2.5 weeks left of crazy year. I don't know what you're feeling, but I feel it's hard to know what to do. Do I rest and celebrate? Do I try to redeem my TBR pile? Do I make goals for next year? (after all, didn't this year's turned out sssooo well???) I have this graphic saved to my Instagram that says, "stop scrolling and start chasing what 2020 still has for you." It sounds good, doesn't it? The "stop scrolling" part is really good advice. The rest of it?
uh, i think i'll pass on whatever 2020 has left in it.

Earlier this week, a friend of my mom came to visit. I was in the kitchen, halfway listening to their conversation in the next room. My mom was telling her how stressful it's been, and how tired she was. Her friend just listened, didn't say anything. After my mom had finished, she replied, "I hope you sit in front of these windows and deep breathe everyday, just looking at that view." I was struck. Sure! I know. There could always be more gratitude in my house. But that wasn't what struck me the most. It was that she didn't waste time, didn't add fluff, there was no "i'm so sorry, I understand it's hard." It was "you, my friend, need gratitude and letting go."

Is that what I need to focus on instead of all this accomplishing? This year may not have gone as planned, but if my first response is to "wrestle hustle out of the last 25 days" then, maybe I am coming from the wrong place?

I don't know if this means anything to you. I've said before that this space is my catharsis, but I also hope that there's another person who breathes in the same as me.

I hope you find a view to deep breathe in front of